random

Quantas Cracks

2005.04.28.14.59 · 7 comments

Still swamped, the expo is in two days and I’m busier than worker bees. But here’s something funny to fill my void:

This has been floating around the internet for a while, and I dont know if these are true or not , but really who cares because they are damn funny.

After every flight, Quantas Airline pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas’ pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in c o c kpit.
S: Something tightened in c o c kpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in c o c kpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S:Took hammer away from midget

From Girlpunch upon surfing BlogExplosion.

ShutterStock – Make $$$ with Your Photos!

2005.04.08.11.08 · 14 comments

Kathleen posted something about ShutterStock and it’s just what I was waiting for in ages. If you’re a photographer (beginner; pros wouldn’t take a second to look at this) you can make $.20 per downloaded photo you submitted to the site. Someone likes your photo, wants to use it for his/her wallpaper or whatever, downloads it, you make $.20 while keeping the copyright. It’s that simple. I don’t know if this is a good way to make money but it’s an awesome way to make you feel worth your work. $.20 is nothing but it’s a good start. Every photographer has to start low, before making six-figure incomes like Ansel Adams.

Ok let’s cut to the chase.. go sign up!

Google Gulp

2005.04.04.17.27 · 8 comments

Thristy? Google has come up with another new way to brighten your surfing days. You can pick these up at your local convenient store, but there’s a catch. You need to be invited, that is you need to have a Google Gulp bottle cap in order to get one. So if you’re not lucky enough to have one yet, that’s ok, it just means you aren’t cool!

Read You Morons!!

2005.03.10.11.52 · 10 comments

A mayor in the Mexico City district of Nezahualcoyotl is apparently now requiring police officers to read one book every month. (Officers who are only semi-literate will attend reading classes. Tests will be given on the books the officers claim they’ve read. Those officer who don’t do their reading will not be eligible for promotion. From the BBC News:

Mayor (Luis) Sanchez says the reading scheme for his 1,100-strong municipal police force will make them better officers and better people.

The list of recommended titles includes such literary classics as Don Quixote, The Labyrinth of Solitude by Octavio Paz, and, on a lighter note, The Little Prince.

I’m not a reading-addict but I don’t get people that don’t read at all. Illiteracy fuels mediocrity!!

Cig-roller Fired for Cig-rolling

2005.03.04.10.41 · 6 comments

Artists enjoying their own art can often be misunderstood by their non-artist peers. It’s totally fucked up what happened to this guy working at a production company, for rolling his own cigs.

Now, you may or may not know that I am a cigarette smoker. I often roll my own cigs, as I have off and on for years, especially when I’m trying to quit. The night before (Friday 2/18), I had rolled myself a couple of cigs, and smoked one before going to bed. On Saturday, there was a full rolled cig and a half smoked one on my bedside table. Apparently, Wes had seen these and, thinking they were pot, freaked out. Instead of confronting me directly, he ran out of my room to call Alison on her cell (I was oblivious to all of this, as I was sitting at a laptop with headphones on, happily editing video). Alison came back into the room and said to me: “Listen, Wes is freaking out because he thinks he may have seen a…. substance…. in your room. I told him to chill out, that it’s probably just a cigarette, but I’m worried that he’s going to call back to NY and make a big thing about this so we’re just going to give you the afternoon off and we’ll deal with it tonight after the cd is finished”.

I say fuck it, he’s better off without that close-minded environment anyway.