Burning My Past
Sorry for being absent all of a sudden. But then again it’s like me so I guess it’s no headline. OK this is probably a good time to vent, I can’t hold this in any longer. I’m moving. I’ve just been here for a very long time and it’s time for another chapter in my boring novel.
I’m OK. I just need to go through this. I boxed the things I want to keep, things I want to remember. Everything else is burnt. There were massive tears involved. Not mine though. As I stood there making bonfire out of my past the whole world cried for me. OK so it fucking rained. I guess the droplets bonded with the smoke particles and brought them straight back to earth, preventing my misery to pollute the world. Sudden funeral I should say, works just right for me. No need for those ashes to fly off to neverland and land right back on my scalp one day.
I kept Nikki’s box though, can’t let go of her yet, and Lie Mei’s and Crystal’s too. The only three bitches delicate humans I ever really loved. Maybe I’ll burn their memory someday, but not today.
The boxes are staying in Indofucksia. Actually I’m down to one box. It’s amazing how I burnt so much of my life out. I’d started off with ten boxes had I boxed them all.
I’m only carrying my laptop backpack and a duffel bag with me. So I guess this is a clean reboot. I’m moving to Kuala Lumpur for a change. It’s almost like switching from Windows XP to Mac OS X, something I just did a few weeks back. Crap. Deja vu?? I hope the Malaysian government would give me a three month visa on arrival. Otherwise I only have one month there, then I have to figure out my next step. 5′11″ brown eyes, bad left knee, bad eyes, somewhat disfigured. Anyone interested for adoption?
Parting with my past junk was tough. I was supposed to start Friday afternoon but I spent the entire weekend reading old love letters and flooding my bedroom. No I didn’t really flood my bedroom but that thing above the guts (my heart, is it?) hurt like every string was pulled in different directions. Memory sucks. So does purging them, sucks even more like a big chunk of yourself is being yanked away from you. I’m headless. Oh no!! Fuck where’s my fucking arm??!! Oh shit.
You’ll only understand the horror if you know me personally. I’m a tough weepy bastard at heart. You never see me cry though, cuz like I said the whole world cries for me.
Right so I’m moving to Kuala Lumpur. Or am I? We’ll find out around Christmas. You will be able to tell for sure if you email me then and trace my reply.
I promise I’ll get things moving again around here as soon as I’m done packing. Only a couple of things left to take care of, like the rest of my exeses (that a word?) scrunchies and underpanties.
December 12th, 2005 at 6:53pm
When i was born, everyone were smiling, but only me who was crying, the other way
When i closed the novel boring book all the peoples will cry, but only me who is smiling.
December 12th, 2005 at 11:00pm
Stop crying, stop holding onto things that are best BURNT, destroyed, forgotten and start living for the future. I destroyed all my ex-girlfriends photos, even the naughty ones (muhahahaha!.. DOH!!!) and i’ve never looked back.
WAIT… no, that’s not true. JErm asked me about something, a while back now, it ended with me finding him an old photo of my ex-girlfriend and it nearly broke my facking heart again. At that moment I held on to my true loves memory though and just then she called me, to say she would be home for 7pm and could I put the chicken in the oven for 6.
That was the last photo of my ex and it’s now busted up and laying in some waste ground in the UK. NEVER to be seen again! END OF STORY!
December 13th, 2005 at 1:04am
Pretty dramatic… exes suck, women suck…if you can find a woman who doesn’t suck…keep her…that’s the rule of life man.
December 13th, 2005 at 2:01am
But most women don’t like to suck, always remember that, and you don’t always want to get rid of a woman that sucks.. right?!?!
December 13th, 2005 at 3:36am
It’s good to see you moving on with your life, and getting out of there. Hope you have a fun, memorable journey!
December 13th, 2005 at 8:13am
hmmm did u burn the stuff i gave u?? r u gonna forget me??
December 13th, 2005 at 10:28am
disful, that’s pretty fucked up man. Are you ok?
Lee, shut up about women who suck, don’t remind me, and you only purged her cuz I reminded you, so shut up about that too. Heh…
Alex, who knows when I’ll find her, IF she exists.
jmweirick, thanks man, I hope this will make me a better person.
jess, have we ever dated?
I still have that t-shirt you gave me and I’m taking it to KL, I love that tee.
December 13th, 2005 at 11:46am
Are you taking the little bear with you?
KL is a nice place, you’ll have a good time there. I’ll visit you next year, ok!
December 13th, 2005 at 1:07pm
Of course sweetie, I’ll take pictures for you to prove it. And yeah you better visit me!
December 13th, 2005 at 9:13pm
Thank GOD we’ve never dated or else i will hate u!!!
hehehe so is that the only memory u have from me?? well it’s better..coz i only hv a picture of u n me 
so sadddd and Pathetic 
December 13th, 2005 at 9:13pm
Thank GOD we’ve never dated or else i will hate u!!!
hehehe so is that the only memory u have from me?? well it’s better..coz i only hv a picture of u n me 
so sadddd and Pathetic 
December 13th, 2005 at 9:13pm
Thank GOD we’ve never dated or else i will hate u!!!
hehehe so is that the only memory u have from me?? well it’s better..coz i only hv a picture of u n me 
so sadddd and Pathetic 
December 13th, 2005 at 9:13pm
Thank GOD we’ve never dated or else i will hate u!!!
hehehe so is that the only memory u have from me?? well it’s better..coz i only hv a picture of u n me 
so sadddd and Pathetic 
December 13th, 2005 at 9:31pm
hmmm sumhow i click 4times..sorry for that
December 13th, 2005 at 10:25pm
I’m great dude, I’ve just inspired from the 2046 movie, the movie was so cool.
December 14th, 2005 at 12:55pm
Lee, quite right. LOL
December 14th, 2005 at 1:12pm
JeSs, I’ll let you slide this time, but only cuz you’re my lil sis!
disful, riiight… i think you’re having a mental breakdown dude!!
Alex, don’t encourage him!
December 14th, 2005 at 9:22pm
So is u r permanently in KL can i visit u??
have not seen u in almost 2years now…hehehe..miss the old times… i remembered when u surprisely came to my house with Diyan and take me away from my home 
but then we ended up at Diyan’s house 
interesting…hehehe…good luck then..email meeeeeeeee…. ttyl i have exams!!!
December 19th, 2005 at 10:55am
hey..where my reply go????…..i thot there were like 20 relies or more here….
December 19th, 2005 at 1:55pm
jeSs I’m not sure how long I’ll be there but if I can stay I’ll stay, in which case you’re welcome to crash my place anytime.
crystal, I don’t think you made any comments on this post before, maybe you’re getting it mixed up with one of the previous posts??
December 19th, 2005 at 7:08pm
no….i post it while i was chatting with you remember? about the world of green clouds….it was for this post….oh well, anyways…nice change of blog..
December 19th, 2005 at 8:12pm
No you dork you posted that here!! Short memory ehh?
December 19th, 2005 at 10:16pm