If you noticed didn’t notice, I haven’t been posting much about personal stuff lately. The reason is that I’ve grown tired of thinking about my life. If I post about it it means I’m putting it on record. A few months (years) down the road I don’t want to remember much about what went on on the negative side.
This time though it might be worth recording. Despite my ongoing depression I still honestly try to get better. I’m doing a caffeine detox now. I figured if I were to sleep well at night and break the cycle (depression causes insomnia and insomnia causes depression) I’d need rid myself of anything that can disrupt my sleep. One of them is my coffee addiction.
Before this week I used to consume at least 3 cups of black coffee and 2-3 bottles of coke per day. I also drank hot chocolate at night and I ate chocolate candies all the time. I drank tea here and there. That’s at least a few hundred grams of caffeine per day.
Now caffeine had always been my good friend. But I realized even though caffeine isn’t as bad or evil as cocaine, it stimulates the same parts of the brain cocaine does. Caffeine addiction can and will ruin your life.
My buddy Lee is on day 5 6 now. I’m only on day three since he left me behind. That bastard.
Here’s my daily breakdown so far. I’m going cold turkey by the way, the only way I think will work in my case.
Day 1.
My head felt like a tractor. Everywhere I went I saw pillows. I had problems recognizing my family members. I couldn’t tell between my laptop and my desktop, and almost fell asleep on my laptop thinking it’s a pillow.
Day 2.
I couldn’t pee. My crap was green and glowing. I was imagining myself turning into the not-so-incredible-HULK. I was booooored. Watched TV all day after work. Next thing I knew it was morning and I was late for work. Shit.
Day 3 (today).
I was late for work. I hopped on my motorbike backwards. Crap. Slept on the way, had no idea how I got here. I’m now at work typing this entry and Micro-and-soft Word is working hard correcting my spelling errors.
Me. Want. Coffee.
In order to fight depression one must suffer. Focus on the greater pain. Focus. Focus. Focus damnit!!
Hi my name is JErm and this is my blog. I'm just a simple guy living a simple life on a simple island.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Is it helping with the depression? Does it make you feel healthier?
My body is going through a denial process now. I feel like shit man. But I know I’ll feel better when this is all over. I think it’s going to take as long as 2 months for the body to be completely off caffeine.
I feel better since doing the detox. I get my moments of weakness and have to fight the demons with everything i’ve got. The whole process can take upto 3 months, some people crack it by 2 months or less.
Detox doesn’t feel good, but it is good for you, it is good for everyone else and it serves the greater good. Stick with it.
Drinking caffeine drinks feels good, but it isn’t good for you, it is good for everyone else (at times) but it doesn’t serve the greater good.
We all like to avoid scenario one, because we do things that bring us instant pleasure, certainty that drinking THIS COFFEE WILL make me FEEL GOOD NOW! We don’t think about the pain that will follow, we deal with that when it happens. It’s a vicious circle!
Good luck dood.. i’m with you , don’t undo the hard work.
Ooh good luck with it man. I tried the cold turkey thing once, and I couldn’t do it. I had the most amazing headache I’ve ever experienced, and yeah. Felt like I was dying!! I admire you two for sticking with it this far.
I also did wean myself off it for a few weeks, gradually got to the point where I could say “Nah, I don’t need a coke” but yeah, I drink a LOT of Coke. That being said, I do drink a lot of other stuff (including coffee of course) but apple juice too! Love that stuff
Good luck guys.
Detox feels bad, it’s bad for you, it’s bad for others and it doesn’t serve the greater good. Day 4 here and I still feel like a zombie. I have a feeling Lee is cheating his way through his detox. Damnit!! I need to go back to bed. But thanks for the push Jax, I think I’m rewalking your mistakes though. Lee, shit man what have you gotten me into??
I’m not cheating .. on my sons life, i’m going cold turkey and have stuck to it thus this far. as mentioned earlier I’ve also given up chocolate for the month and cocoa cola (anything with caffeine in it). My housemate did bring back some caffeine free cola last night though and it was awesome to taste…. Stay strong mate! Boredom and depression make you week minded, FOCUS!!!!!
Same here dude, no chocolate, no tea (unless it’s no-caffeine herbal tea), no cokes, nada. You ARE cheating though cuz you seem to be doing a LOT better than me. It’s been a week for me dude and I still feel like I’m sleepwalking. How do you do it? Tell me, tell me…
I cut caffeine and artificial sugars and marijuana cold turkey all at once.
It really wasn’t hard at all, and I haven’t cheated one bit.