It’s pathetic thinking back and watching my life roll backwards. There’s so many could haves that can kill me now just thinking about them. It’s not easy being born in a country that doesn’t accept you and growing up in a country that does just to leave and go back to the country that hates you. It’s been nine long years now and I’m ready to move on. But I have no where to go. I’ll lose my job in October and the only thing that keeps me alive is staring at my AdSense reports.
I guess life’s not that different for everybody else. I have friends in Sydney, London and even back home in California having the same kind of struggle with life. Working isn’t enough. You need to have a passion to keep life flowing in your veins. At least though these friends can save a little and have a nice vacation at the end of the year. Me, I can barely save to pay for my laptop.
It’s been a long while since I first tried living off the web. It hasn’t been a success but I’m slowly getting there now. The ideal dream is to have something automatic that can sustain my living needs wherever I am. Only the web offers that. Everything else will pin you down to settle down somewhere, where your heart might not be happy.
It’s just another lonely Sunday afternoon for me. I could go out and play ball except my knee wouldn’t allow me to. Dido’s playing on my Altec Lansing and she grasps my misery too damn well.
Hi my name is JErm and this is my blog. I'm just a simple guy living a simple life on a simple island.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
oh jerm
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Yes, the offline world is becoming more and more technical, which is making it really hard for those of us who view it with more respect. Working online could be the best way to earn a living. Keep at it, as I’m sure soon enough revenue from this site along will support many purchases. I myself have started visiting the links in the ads on this site now; they’re so cool.
I hope everything improves for you! Keep your chin up!
twice »
Bes » I don’t think I can ever live off my blog, but I do have a few side projects that most people don’t see. Thanks for your support but don’t make a habit of clicking my ads, I wouldn’t want to get banned by Google.
candi » Thanks candi, but it’s hard to keep my chin up around here.
Hey JErm,
I have to say I love the site design. I’ve been here before and thought the same. Why I blogrolled you.
Thanks for the offer on digitalSURGERY. Its a good site. Will definately give it some thought. What other blogs of yours are in your blog network?
As for the Glimmer of Hope. I know only too well how you feel. It seriously sucks about your knee. There was a time recently when I could hardly walk myself, so I know how debilitating it can be. Recently I have been doing upperbody weight exercises in an effort to help my moods, I’m finding it helps a lot considering all time I sit at the computer. Gets the blood pumping and the mind active & muscles growing again. I’d tried walking, jogging, the weights and neck exercises have helped me more than anything.
Its funny how reading your motivations for getting into AdSense mirror my own. What I make is a pittance because I haven’t had the motivation, yet it keeps me busy and active seeing the effect of changes I make have on earnings. I’ve had to learn not to be an AdSense Addict. It’s been hard! lol.
When I have more time I’ll send you and email. I have been thinking about doing some collaborative problogging. Have been working on building my own multisite framework using Drupal, AdSense, Amazon. Darren over at ProBlogger has been a bad influence… lol.
Thinking about things that could’ve been really gets me down sometimes, too. Thankfully, I’m not in one of those mental ruts right now.
I can tell that you’d be a great friend to have in real life. My knee is messed up, too, from years of skateboarding and it really sucks that both of them are starting to bother me now that I have started running again. I can’t go to the track everyday like I want to because of it. I started to work out a little bit too (like the other commenter) and it does help to make you feel better. I can’t play ball like I used to, but I still have a killer jumper and a sweet hoop in my backyard to help me get my mind off of things.
I do freelance work too (writing), but it’s frustrating sometimes. I get paid to be funny, but it’s pretty hard to do that when your mind isn’t in the right state of mind. Sometimes when I feel down, I think of how things could be worse and that sometimes helps. Hang in there, bro.
Oh boy, now I have so much time left on my hands [moves mouse away from JErmexpress.com ]
Care to share [via email or on msn] the other projects you have?
y r u quitting ur only job?? r u tired of it or have u found a new n better one???? keep struggling and u will find peace n happiness:wink:
as you know, i know how it feels to be lost. or at least feel lost. it’s ups and downs man, you know? nothing’s ever consistant, but i suppose that if life was always one big laugh we’d hate that too. if you were satisfied it would mean that you had stopped growing and caring, and there is NOTHING scarier than that. consider yourself lucky – you’re one of the few who actually think.
Craig » Darren is bad influence!! *lmfao* I’ve been workin my upper body too, we’re going climbing in 2007 and I gotta start training. If you wanna come stop by the bb, there’s an active thread about that. My AdSense here isn’t doing too well either, I barely make enough for a cheap burger. I really want to get into something online full-time. I’ll probably start October when I get fired. Thanks for the support. Let me know what you’re up to and keep me posted. Oh BTW you’re linked!
Caiaphas » Thanks man. I busted my knee grinding this curb back in the early 90s. I had a surgery back then but I fucked it up again playing ball a few years ago. Now I’m in need of another surgery but I can’t afford it. I bike some to keep the muscles around it strong so they can support the injured part, it’s been helping a little. Both you and Craig are right though, feeling good about your body can make you feel good altogether. Life usually depresses me but a little break in routines could cheer me back up. I should join the gym, only if I had money.
We should be friends anyway, online or offline. Come to the board and meet the others.
Bes » I get asked to do someone’s website from time to time. So far that’s what’s keeping me afloat. Other than that just my dayjob which I’ll lose very soon.
jeSs » I’m not quitting Jess, I’m getting fired (laid off – the nicer term) cuz the company is downsizing.
liz » You’re right. If I were content with my life right now I would’ve stopped struggling a long time ago and become a boring aging person. It’s the struggle that defines me. It’s just really hard to realize that when you’re down. Thanks for the kind words and reminder. You rock!