17 Reasons Not To Slit Your Wrists

The fight is over, but let’s reflect on the moments of importance, the famous Bush quotes:

• The children of today are the children of tomorrow. The only difference is that they will be adults.
• Our intelligence reports are 95% accurate. The other 6% can be attributed to human error.
• The United States is not interested in the Iraqi oil reserves. It belongs to the Iraqi people. But somebody needs to pump it out and sell it to them and we are that somebody.
• We were the first to land on the moon. We will also be the second to land on the moon.
• Any threat to America is a threat to the United States.
• AIDS is destroying the economic growth of Africa. Africans need to stand up and say ‘No’ to AIDS. Those who are already infected may remain in their beds. Help is on its way.
• Have I ever watched Star Wars? Yes. I watched at least 100 times. I used to run around the house pretending I was Luke Skymaker.
• I thank the US Army for their fantastic work. They are all heroes. The world is full of heroes. Even the Iraqis are heroes. They have been beaten but they remain heroes in our eyes.
• No. No. Yes I said no. We are not after the oil. No. No.
• Rats are not national emergencies. They are animals.
• I have 200% faith in Condoleeza Rice. What would a curry be without rice?
• There is so much space in space that it is unbelievable.
• Zimbabwe? What has Zimbabwe got to do with Iraq? We have no intention of going to war with Zimbabwe. We don’t even know where Zimbabwe is.
• Osama is not in the United States. If he was, I am sure he would have stopped by for some tea and cookies.
• Sometimes even I may make statements that do not make sense but I always stand by my own misstatements. I do not believe I am perfect. I may seem perfect to many people.

Did you count? There’s only 15.. I was being Bush-ey!

From Doc Emer